Almost.

I haven't been up at this hour in AGES...lol. Its 9:30 so thats kind of sad. I want to go back to sleep but I can't. Well, I haven't tried yet but I'm very awake. I go to work tomorrow for the first time. woot woot. Right at this very moment, I have like 4 very important life decisions to make...Its crunch time. Oh boy.

Super Mom.

So, I just fried the plantains, made maandazi for breakfast tomorrow, and brownies for Elyse's friends birthday. I am BEAT. If I have kids, I can't have a job. Its too much work. I applaud my mother. She's amazing, yo.

When People Run In Circles. . .

. . . (Its a very, very mad world.)


Apparently, every single person that I know has lost their mind. Everyone. There's no happy medium involved anymore. Either they're completely sane or completely off of their rockers. And if thats not enough, it seems as though there's more insane than sane at the moment. High school should really be like 5 or 6 years....we were NOT ready to get into the real world, and we're proving that every single day.

Starting with the now apparent EX boyfriend.....


"Queen wrecking my husband's away && point blank period IM WIFE && there aint nothing more to it than that. He Got the keys to my sacred being and I Got the chain locc on his heart.. So hold the aims plz... Indestructable Love is wht we call it... 02-10-09 I love you pooh"

Now, If YOU were hitting up a person that YOU were supposed romantically involved with and that popped up, but you didn't write it....what would YOU say?......That's exactly what I said, and then some. Not that I was really upset, because I wasn't. I went to Texas and did my thing, so I'm sure he was here doing his....that's fine. But the numbers and dates don't match up. I didn't even want to talk about it, but then he came at me like he had no sense in his entire brain.So I had to let him have it. Just to blow off steam. Because its obvious that my presence in his life was already an issue. Girls only do that kind of lame stuff when they feel threatened. Nice to know I still got it.

Then there's my best friend and her brainwashing boyfriend, my favorite cousin and her random rude outbursts, my brother and his random outburst, my mother harassing me. No need for extra details on those situations because they're kind of personal. But they all drive toward my general point. They are all absolutely insane. I swear, If I had a way out, I'd take it. I'm so glad that after I leave, I won't be back here until the end of next year. That will give me time to get my life together and get out of this ever building circle of Los Angeles intertwining drama. Everybody here knows everybody else and everything is just filled with drama. Nothing can be done without somebody else knowing and its absolutely insane. Just as I'm writing this, I got a phone call about some bs that I didn't say, but somebody said I did....If that even makes any sense. I just need a LONG extensive vacation from all things associated with this place and my family. Funny thing is, when I wasn't here, I missed it SO much. Now that I'm back, I wonder why I was missing it in the first place. But I guess that's just how it is. All the cliches and old sayings aren't for nothing, apparently.

On a happier note, I got a job. Yay. I start next Thursday. Go, Ravie.

Anyway. I just want the summer to start. It seems like summers are magical. Like no matter what went wrong previously, we're all over it by summer time and we can all just have a good time and make memories. Maybe its the heat, or the lack of schoolwork, or the lack of having to be on each others backs everyday. Who knows. All I know is that my favorite month is July, and I was born in February. That says it all as far as I'm concerned.

Well, I think that's enough insanity for one night. Off to make fried plantains for Elyse's history class. Au revior.

The Life and Times of the Absolutely Wonderful Ravie Bee.

So. Today is my first day back home. I had real food took a real shower,and now I'm sitting on my own bed. Capitol. I figure I might as well reflect on life in general. Including this semester that just recently came to an end. And my boyfriend, or lack there of. In fact seeing as I just got off the phone with him, I think that would be a perfect place to start. He is such an incredible baby. We aren't even together at the moment, so why be so retarded? He wants to come over tomorrow so that things can occur. I think its to satisfy some twisted goal, to be quite honest. A whole year and he hasn't smashed. If I were a guy, I'd kill me. Seriously. But I kind of don't want to, so I've been a little distant. I just don't know with him. I wanted to last week. But now he's aggravating me. Sheesh. Why can't life just be remotely easy? Anyway, more important things have occurred, like the end of this semester, and the end of my first year of college in general. I've laughed, I've cried. I've made some of the best friends in the world. Life is looking promising. I'm going to go back to TSU. I'm not going to be a baby about things. I have a job to do....that job is graduating on time. I have know idea why I played myself into thinking that I was gonna just come back home and start over. I'm always trying to quit SOMETHING. Whether its a relationship or school. Oh snap. I think I just did some growing up. Like right at this moment. I should stop running from some of this stuff, I figure. What am I solving by putting the issues to the side? Not a damn thing. Even still, here's the summer. I'm glad about that. Summer's are magical to say the least. I can not think of bad summer that I've had in my 19 years. In fact, they get better every year. Can't wait to see what this one has in store. Paz.

The "Other" Woman

I've having a major FML moment these days. I'm always placed in dumb situations. I've always playfully called myself a homewrecker, but I realized today that I actually am sometimes. Its not by choice though. Boys are horrible creatures that never know what they want. I can make a long list of "boys with girlfriends" who have made my life extremely difficult because they're young and confused. Its just not fair.

Good Morning?

I feel somewhat disoriented. I slept funny. I have a bug bite...its really uncomfortable....like EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I'm really starting to think I have arthritis. Like seriously...my bones hurt. Am I sounding whiny? I think I need to go back to sleep.

Intentions.

No real meaning in the title. Just bored to pieces and suprised I'm still awake. Indah is too. We were supposed to go to the Kappa party tonight but it was 15 dollars.....I'm not going to pay 15 dollars to kick it with a bunch of Texas randoms. Pointless. And my knee is the size of a baseball anyway. I'm never getting on a trampoline EVER again. My boo-thang said that's what I get for being grown on a trampoline. Smh. Its always fun until Someone gets hurt. Speaking of getting hurt...

ayochubbycheeks (2:19:35 AM): that's true. it arroused a theory... if there wasn't music... ppl telling us how to feel, what to expect, what love is... would we feel? or would we feel the same?

Don't think that quote has anything to do with getting hurt? Oh, it does. I was talking about how Kanye West- Apologize is like the story of my life right now. Listen to the song, you'll see. This was brought up. What if I had never heard that song? Would I still feel the exact same way I feel now? Like my heart was somewhat torn out by a certain someone....Its something to think about. Imani is pretty sharp, yeah? I think so.