I must want it. . .

I so wanted desperately to give "The Situation" a new nickname. You know something more endearing. Like "My Boo" or "The Boyfriend". But he just continues to make life increasingly difficult for me. I'm slowly falling for him, hard. There are many reasons why. . . But he's not catching me. Not how I want him to anyway. I don't give him reasoning to have to go anywhere else for anything else. But he can't commit. And I have no clue if its because I'm here and he's there or if its because he just doesn't want to. I want to let it go, because for the most part I feel like I'm doing all of the work. Its like 40/60. And I, of course, have the short end of the stick. But then on the other hand, I feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt for some STRANGE reason unknown to me. Love maybe? I don't want to say that's what it is because I don't want to feel like a sucker. . . But I just want this to work. He says we're getting married. I want with my whole self to believe that. But I just don't know. Conflicted. Irritated. Irrational. Unhappy. = Raven and "The Situation". I hope he fixes this, I'm rooting for him.

The Woman. This Woman.

"Whatever u give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will giveu a baby. Give her a house, she will give u a home. Give her groceries,she will give u a meal. Give her a smile and she will give u her heart.She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if u give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of s**t."

Someone posted that on Facebook today. I felt the need to repost, because I just feel it so much. It's not that long of a statement but it speaks lengths. Two of my love interests commented on it. One said I had insight and the othere said he didn't think that I knew what the statment meant. Which leads me to think about my relationships with these men and how they've panned out over the past few months, years. Whatever. There's like involved. Maybe even a little love here and there. But what I learned today about myself is that I might be a little girl when it comes to relationships. A "woman" can do all of that. And while in most aspects, I'm pretty grown up, when I recieve crap, I don't give a lot of shit. Maybe there inlies the issue. But who knows, right?

50. . .

He said I left him in Texas. . . womp.


I'm going to be 15. yay.