I must want it. . .

I so wanted desperately to give "The Situation" a new nickname. You know something more endearing. Like "My Boo" or "The Boyfriend". But he just continues to make life increasingly difficult for me. I'm slowly falling for him, hard. There are many reasons why. . . But he's not catching me. Not how I want him to anyway. I don't give him reasoning to have to go anywhere else for anything else. But he can't commit. And I have no clue if its because I'm here and he's there or if its because he just doesn't want to. I want to let it go, because for the most part I feel like I'm doing all of the work. Its like 40/60. And I, of course, have the short end of the stick. But then on the other hand, I feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt for some STRANGE reason unknown to me. Love maybe? I don't want to say that's what it is because I don't want to feel like a sucker. . . But I just want this to work. He says we're getting married. I want with my whole self to believe that. But I just don't know. Conflicted. Irritated. Irrational. Unhappy. = Raven and "The Situation". I hope he fixes this, I'm rooting for him.